‘That doesn’t sound like Chinese food,’ Katie says, when Mammy tells her about my cousin’s favourite order of chicken balls, chips and a tub of curry.

‘I loved a long tray from the Chinese chipper,’ I say, remembering post-pub grub in Maynooth.

‘The Chinese chipper?’ Katie asks incredulous. ‘What on earth is a Chinese chipper?’

‘A chipper, that does Chinese food,’ I say. ‘The Chinese chipper. The one in Maynooth used to do a long tray – half chips, half rice, with curry poured over the whole lot.’ I can almost taste it as I describe it.

‘They do that in the Chinese here too,’ Mammy says.

‘Why are restaurants and take-aways so weird here?’ Katie asks. ‘You get chicken and chips in the Italian, chicken and chips in the Chinese, chicken and chips in the Indian.’

It’s just an Irish twist, Mammy and I explain. Populist fusion. There will always be someone who’ll refuse to eat pasta or rice or naan. So, to keep everyone happy, the good chefs of these restaurants provide a ‘European’ menu too – though calling chicken and chips or omelette and chips European makes my very European daughter guffaw!

I often wonder what Chinese, or Indian, or Italian visitors to our country must think when they see such weird and wacky menus with an Irish twist and something like a long tray that comes from a planet all of its own.